Trapped by Fear
by Padme Evenstar
Summary: A young man is a slave to his fear and subject to a recurring nightmare. Quigon must try to sort through the youth's jumbled mind to figure it out... with the help of a young nurse from the mental hospital. PG for frightening 'images.'


Disclaimer: I do not own Star Wars, or Ben (unfortunately), but I do own the character of Nevell...I made her up.

A/N: OK, this is just a random idea, and it is very AU. Contrary to any belief you may have, this will not be a romance. I'll bet you all can easily guess who the patient is. Sorry in advance to all you fans, but I like to victimize him! Not much else to say, so I'll just stop talking now.

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**Trapped by Fear**

**Prologue**

One young man stayed awake that night in the mental hospital. He was not kept awake by the condition of the patients. No, he _was_ one of the patients. And he was awake because he was afraid. Afraid of his own shadow, afraid of anyone who walked in, afraid of the light that seeped through his small window in the day, yet afraid of the darkness of his cell at night even more. But his greatest fear was something that no doctor in the entire hospital could figure out. They had been trying for fifteen years to unravel the strange mystery behind this man's fear, and none had yet been successful.

Except for one. Her name was Nevell, and she had grown quite fond of this particular patient, however hard it was to get any kind of response from him when he was taken by his ever-present fear. Every nurse in the hospital had some 'pet', or favorite. This was hers, and the others just couldn't understand the strange bond.

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Nevell was also awake that night. The doctors had gone around that day and chosen those that were to be taken forever out of their cells. Tomorrow, the chosen patients would either be released, after having been deemed harmless, or put down, after having been deemed hopeless. Naturally, each nurse had begged for the safety of her patient. Nevell had been no exception. Her fear-driven charge had been among those chosen for termination tomorrow afternoon. And yet a small sliver of hope had somehow shown itself. 

The Jedi, masters of peace and compassion, were coming to inspect the chosen patients to be sure there was absolutely no hope for them. Yet that hope was quickly fading, for it was the Jedi in the first place who had admitted her charge to the hospital. Perhaps there was really no hope for him.

And yet she was reluctant to give up on him. Unable to sleep, she rose and made her way down the rows of cells, counting as she went. When she came to his cell, she paused for a moment before entering as quietly as possible. He was a strange one, and the one and only way to really see him was to be sure he didn't see you, at least, not right away. She cautiously walked in, hoping against hope that he was asleep, but he wasn't.

As he caught sight of her, his blue-grey eyes filled with an incomprehensible terror, and he hid his face from her, his whole body trembling from some unknown sight that was torturing his mind. For that was the one conclusion the doctors could come to about him. He was tormented by some dark and mysterious dream that had filled his memory by day, and captured his thoughts by night. This terrible nightmare had contorted his way of life, keeping his courage in check, causing him to fear everything. And yet because of his fear, none could wrench from his troubled mind what the dream was, nor why it had frightened him. And so he was stuck in an endless circle; trying to release himself from this terrible fear, and yet too afraid to do anything about it. And so his fear had complete control over him.

Though it had not always been so. A long time ago, so long ago that he no longer remembered it, he had been training to become a Jedi Knight himself. He was apprenticed to a kind and loving Master, and yet all of this had been destroyed by a single nightmare. At first, the dream had little affect on him, save that it was too disturbing for him to speak of just yet. But even that had been enough to bring his downfall. It had been left to brood in his mind until he could barely distinguish reality from the dream. Then it happened. First, he began to fear his friends, his teachers, even his own Master. His fear continued to grow and take hold of him, until, even by his Jedi training, he could not loosen its grip on him. The Masters tried everything, but finally gave up hope and admitted him into the mental hospital. And there he had remained, deteriorating, until he had become afraid of even his own shadow, a pitiful, degenerated, twisted being with no hope of freedom from the thing which had ruined him.

Of course, his past was known by few, and was unknown by the beautiful, emerald-eyed female that now stood in his cell, looking at his cowering form with pity. She guessed that he was tormented by some terrible nightmare, just like all the rest. But she saw something they could not. She saw him struggle with his fear, saw his helpless defeat. She believed there was some hope for him, if he could only be given a chance. Nevell had tried her best to give him that chance, but it was useless. Her only hope now was to plead with the Jedi for one last chance on him, just one more year, and she felt certain she could wrench the horrid terror from him.

Nevell bent down close to him and placed a gentle hand on his trembling shoulder. She felt him shaking violently, but for only one moment more. Hope sprang into her heart when his body was stilled. Some great willpower was forcing him to deny the fear, if only for one moment. But that one moment gave them both hope, hope that the end was not anywhere near. She sat down next to him. Now, if only she could convince the Jedi of this.

As she sat there, she ran through his circumstance in her mind. She knew nothing of his past. In fact, she had just entered training with the facility when he was first admitted. What she did know was that the Jedi had placed him here, and that was her greatest fear, that the Jedi would want nothing to do with him. Why else would they put him in this dismal place? Her hand moved from his shoulder to his head of thick, long hair. It had been short when he first came here, but the long years had grown it out. She began to comb her fingers through the chestnut-brown tangle, noting the shudder that was forced down by sheer self-will. He didn't want to be afraid, but there was little he could do about it. He was a slave to his fear, and it was almost too much to hope for what was currently happening. But it was happening, and she was content. But her longing for something more for him was not satisfied. She longed above all else for him to look at her, if only for a moment. That seemed to be the one thing she had never seen: his eyes. She longed to see his eyes. Not the quick, trembling glance he gave her whenever she walked in, but a real, pure, fearless gaze.

After another few minutes, she stood to leave. She bent down close to his ear and whispered, "I have to go now, Ben. Thank you for letting me in." Ben was her special name for him. He had a name, but none remembered it. Everyone else called him 'the Nightmare patient'. She considered this cruel, and apparently, so did he. He responded to her differently than he had ever responded to any of the doctors. And as of yet, no one could quite figure it out. But she had, and continued to call him by her special pet name for him.

Somewhere amid the fear and terror, gratitude must have registered in his tangled mind, for he actually looked up, one eye coming over his arm to gaze at her. Fear was still there, but there was hope also, and recognition. It was as if he knew her to be the one person who could understand, to a degree, his suffering and pain. Tears welled her eyes as she stared at him, not knowing what to say, not wanting to spoil the moment with words, and not wanting to leave him when he had finally conquered his fear, at least, his fear of her. But the moment was soon over, and he looked away, his strength of will weakening from the effort, the fear of his past returning. But he was no longer afraid of her. A step had been taken.

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Elsewhere in the city, another soul was struggling with sleeplessness. His name was Qui-gon Jinn, and he was a Jedi Master. He was kept awake by the problem of his former apprentice. It had been a decade and a half since he had seen him, and yet he seemed to have captured his attention tonight. Tomorrow, he and his new apprentice, Anakin Skywalker, would be going to the mental hospital nearby to inspect the patients that were to be put down later in the afternoon. 

He had to admit, it wasn't a pleasant assignment, but someone had to do it. This year, that someone was him. Since Anakin was just beginning his training, he would have to come too. But that place still gave him the creeps. For that was where his former apprentice had ended up. Whether or not he was still alive, Qui-gon didn't know. Nor did he want to. That was why he had wished someone else would take this assignment, because if Obi-wan was still alive, his condition, no matter how long ago it was, would rip the Master's heart out. If he was dead, Qui-gon could not bear it. And so, he had tried to stay away from either revelation. But he could no longer hide from his torn past.

He sighed as he stared up through the window at the millions of stars shining above the busy city-planet of Coruscant. But he found no comfort in them. All he found was that he could not shake the feeling that his entire future was soon to be decided by a simple visit. And yet, that visit seemed to him to be a visit to the past.

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A/N: Flame me if you like, but I will continue despite the bad reviews and such, forI belive there is someone out there who will enjoy this story, however bad it is... Please review if you are reading this so I know whether I am doing OK in explaining and describing... 


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